Elephant or Exoneration


I made two discoveries immediately following yesterday’s post celebrating ‘lasts’:

the case for my 6 came in the mail a few days head of schedule

the case for my 6 came in the mail a few days ahead of schedule…

I clicked over into stats and found someone frantically searching for direction after a CCS-FET failure :/

and I found someone frantically searching my blog for direction after a CCS-FET failure.

Gosh, sometimes the universe throws us confusing and conflicting cues. Finding my elephant case in the mailbox when we came home from retrieval felt so serendipitous for half a second (as some of you may remember my symbol for the attainment of a dream and a life well-deserved) until, that is, I finished posting only to click over and see the dark reminder of defeat.

I am using this free day from work to manage a bevy of practical steps toward either victory or a clear conscience–phone calls to Cryoport, the allergist, the reproductive immunologist, and the start of an anti-inflammatory regimen. In an all or nothing game, I have to do every last thing within my control to give myself the best chance so that, should it fail, I can leave this behind with zero what-ifs lurking in the aftermath.

13 thoughts on “Elephant or Exoneration

  1. I hear you about the ‘what-ifs’…sometimes, it’s exhausting to make all the arrangements, the appointments, do all the stuff. But it becomes worth it to make sure it either works or there are no regrets.

    Wishing for you that the elephant case is a good sign.


    • No regrets, exactly. If it all fails, I’ll have no choice but to accept it, but I need to know that I did everything in my power. Thank you for the good wishes, and I’m hoping for a happy ultrasound for you as well!


  2. Everything is loaded during these times of high tension. I hope the universe sent you elephants as a symbol of what’s to come. The cycle is starting out great, and I hope the good news continues.


  3. I think you have already displayed remarkable determination. You are a teacher. Don’t be too hard a grader of yourself! And if a baby is in the offing, you will have quite “pre-history” of his/her life as a model of how to lead his/her own.


  4. That is an amazingly cool case.

    I think this is the only way you can do it, tackle everything in your power and walk away — regardless of outcome — with zero what ifs. That paves a road toward peace.


  5. It’s definitely not easy. I hope you can have some peace of mind soon.

    In the meantime, that’s a really sweet phone case!


  6. Pingback: “It’s not your fault.” | The Empress and the Fool

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