Graduation Party


Saturday, 8w1d, we had our final round of pregnancy monitoring at RMA-NJ. They packed up for me a big white envelope filled with cycle and pregnancy records to give to my OB and a flash drive with ultrasound photos. When I came home and plugged it into the laptop, they had also included an article entitled “Taking Baby Steps: Saying Goodbye to your Fertility Team and Hello to your Obstetrician,” which seemed to tap into and soothe many of my keenly felt reservations in walking away from the meticulous care administered at one of the top fertility clinics in the country to entrust the local baby doctor with this exceedingly precious pregnancy. This, in particular, struck a chord:

You will most likely be discharged from your IVF center to the care of an Ob/Gyn at around 7-9
weeks gestation. At that time, your pregnancy’s risk level is almost equivalent to that of a woman
who has conceived without any medical support.

I am still bleeding, and the ultrasound revealed new and unresolved hematomas that seem to forecast more red scares to come, but the heartbeat was strong, 157bpm, way up from the unsettling 113 of the 7-week visit, and Bean measured on-schedule to the day. With that I am trying to glean some wisdom from Katherine and ‘march along,’ comforted by the auspiciousness of these growth markers and the sense of reassurance that comes naturally with the flip of each calendar day. After all, I’m no longer a fertility patient, just a pregnant lady with no added level of risk.

30 thoughts on “Graduation Party

  1. I suffered hematomas through 13-14 weeks and was horrified because the first pregnancy like that resulted in a loss. However, trust that they can resolve themselves and you will be on your way to an uneventful normal pregnancy that results in a healthy baby!!! Prayers and good vibes your way!


    • Lol, feeling “well”??? Hmm, not so much, not in the first trimester with its nausea and exhaustion, but definitely feeling lucky! Thanks for the good wishes 🙂


  2. Graduation! March On ! My Mother loves Graduations! With four children and graduations from nursery..sixth grade..eighth grade..12 th grade..colleges..masters ceremonies…there were a lot. thankful I couldn’t hear her in my ceremonies but as my brothers marched in …I sat by my Mother and since she’s VERY British I’d hear her sing ( not so much under her breath as I would have liked) the words:

    “Land of Hope and Glory,Mother of the free
    How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?
    Wider still and wider shall thy bounds be set;
    God, who made thee mighty,make thee mightier yet.
    God, who made thee mighty,make thee mightier yet”

    …..So to you..Marching along at your Graduation… I’ll sing it for you and your ‘mighty’ baby! I’m sure you know the melody! Little Miss Educated Whiz Kid! Funny..only real time she ever mentioned God…just so happy we graduated I guess..AND IM HAPPY YOU GRADUATED !!! Yippee.
    Oh ya…great news👍


  3. If you can embrace that line about just being another pregnant lady with a normal level of risk, I am going to bow down and make you some sort of offering. That said, the heartrate is GREAT and I would be very reassured by that and the on-track CRL measurement, personally. I’m keeping things crossed and hopes high.


    • Ha, it’s hard, but it is feeling more and more real/safe as the days pass. I think if it weren’t for the bleeding and wonky numbers at the 7-week appointment, I might have shouted it to the world already, so maybe this is forcing me to keep my excitement in check until it’s proper to tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wonderful news! Congratulations on graduating.

    For me, one of the best parts of my pregnancy was when I was being looked after by my midwives and they just treated me like a regular pregnant woman. It took a long time to get to the point where that didn’t freak me out, but then it was lovely to feel ‘normal’.


    • Ahh, “regular,” yes. This is not an arena in which I ever wanted to be ‘special’ so I’m really looking forward to that chance to return to a place of normalcy.


  5. Isn’t that graduating a nice feeling–I love that your RE gave you a transition packet. I love that you found the one quote that we’re all desperate to hear. I have to say, I still have trouble believing it, even 6 weeks later. I do kind of miss getting special treatment, I’m just one normal in a sea of normals. I do find comfort in the fact that the OB office just blithely goes forth and schedules things with confidence a month in advance. I hope those hematomas clear up and soon so you can have one less thing to worry about.


  6. Thanks for stopping by the blog and leaving a comment. Congratulations on your pregnancy and “graduating.” About the bleeding – argh! Why do so many people have to endure this? (I also had a hematoma. Didn’t realize then how common it seems to be.) Sound like everything else indicates a healthy pregnancy so I hope it continues to go well for you!


  7. It was bittersweet to leave. I mean, I didn’t want to be there. But at the same time, I had seen those people day in and day out for a long time. It still feels weird to drive by the building and not turn into the lot. But alas, it’s a good thing, graduating 🙂


    • Yeah, I will miss my nurse especially because she has talked me off the ledge of few times, and I’m so grateful to her for keeping me level during a scary time with rational facts and data. I keep trying to think of a little gift to send her. I think it would have been harder, though, if the clinic I started with had gotten me pregnant. I don’t feel a lot of loyalty to any one place because, by the end, I had assembled my care piecemeal, transferring a CCRM embryo on an RMA-NJ FET with exactly five RE’s under my belt.


    • It is surreal. The journey to baby has been anything but. Also satisfying, though, to appear bland from the outside when really it’s the conclusion of an epic quest and a victory over those who told me to give up like I was some kind of desperado.


  8. Congrats,

    I’m someone who just found your blog. Though my wife and did not decided to pursue treatments we went to RMA in NJ as well and had a positive experience. Best wishes to you on your journey.


  9. This was posted 9 days ago, and I am hoping that graduation has gone smoothly, that you’ve met (or are scheduled to meet) with your OB, and that the bleeding is better (or at least not any worse) than it has been.

    Bobbie Thomas was on the Today Show yesterday and she is 12 wks pregnant after 4 round of IVF and her RE said the same, that her risk is no greater than than a woman who conceived without ART.

    Keep the faith (and we’ll keep it for you when it’s too hard).


    • Thanks for the encouragement! My 10 week scan with the OB is tomorrow, and even though I’ve been sick enough to go into it with some confidence, the moments of reckoning are always terrifying. There’s no reason I shouldn’t see a happy, live baby on the screen, right? Right. Lots of deep breaths while also trying not to vomit, lol.


      • Please report back. I remember white knuckling every u/s with my first pregnancy and just before I graduated to my OB my RE said to me, ‘you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you are pregnant’. I can’t say I ever really did as that pregnancy was fraught with peril, but they were wise words nonetheless.

        Will be awaiting your update.


      • Good Heavens Emp! You need to loosen up. Stop the more like me…not a care in the world😬scan?! Who is afraid of scans??? Read Chaucer or something and quit the drama…


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