The Reservoir is Dry.


There’s this saying that used to kick around my yoga world:

The universe gives you what you need.

My yoga-instructor-roommate then and now good friend was was making money hand over fist in those days leasing furnished apartments in New York City to major corporations. Her cat got very sick, and it literally cost $9,000 to save his life, which she had to spare because she was flush in easy cash. When people would question her on it, she would just say with an easy smile, “The universe gives you what you need.”

I guess my question is – What if it doesn’t?

8 thoughts on “The Reservoir is Dry.

  1. Good question. Normally I might say “are you sure it hasn’t?” (even though I think expressions like that your friend used to utter are often repulsively privileged and irk me fur that reason), but from what little i know of what is up with the little one, I don’t feel right with the retort. That said, I can only hope this is another layer of the emotional processing you will need to go through on this journey and that your tenacity and insightfulness will lead you to what your baby needs, what can make this work. I want that so much for you. I want more for the universe to give you what you effing need already, damn it. But if not that then the former. Holding fast to hope and keeping you in my thoughts.


  2. I’ve been thinking of you.

    Things will be ok. Not because of rainbows and butterflies and the universe cares about you … but because you have to believe it will be, or else how can you keep putting one foot in front of the next?


  3. A dangerous question. Best to stay in the moment and not get ahead of yourself. I’m not dismissing the “pull” of the question, just reminding you of what I’m sure you already know. Hang in there.


  4. I just got the news and I am devastated. So very sorry…you shouldn’t have to endure this after such a long IF journey. I know it has to be the most difficult thing you will do in your lifetime but I know you will gather strength to give him the best outcome possibly because you are already a very wonderful Mom. Stay in the present and try to plan for the next few days without torturing yourself thinking on the future. I will be thinking of you every day along this journey. ((HUGS))


  5. Total bullshit. Does she “need” an enormous disposable income more than I do? Does she “need” her cat more than people in this community who spend their entire life savings to have a baby and never do? To me, that’s the justification of the lucky and privileged, so they don’t have to address their privilege. I don’t deserve or need my baby and my husband and my happiness any more than anyone else. I just got lucky.


  6. I don’t believe that the universe gives you what you need, but more that you fit your life around what the universe gives. And that what the universe gives rarely fits what you had in your mind and heart. But that simply makes it different.


  7. Not to rage against your yoga friend, but I don’t think the universe gives us what we need. That seems like a fancy way to describe coincidence.

    I think these kinds of platitudes are designed to make us feel better. It is a way to rationalize truly shit situations, to find order in chaos. The alternative– no fairness or meaning to our suffering– is completely terrifying. So we decide the universe sends us trials, god only gives us what we can handle, etc.

    I get why people believe these things. It puts purpose behind something that seems senseless. Though it has never made me feel better, I also can’t judge how someone finds peace.


  8. Pingback: Regarding the Fallen Apple | The Empress and the Fool

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